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9th September 2002

deerhoof8:42pm: yellow fingernail polish
hoyeah!! the ancient egyptians used henna to dye thier fingernails yellow. clearly i am a classic, painted yellow fingernails are here to stay baby, uh.

(4 want it | you know you want it)

7th September 2002

pistolqueergan8:31pm: anthony bought a jacket, and i went to a lot of trouble to get sane, so you can't leave.
i guess i wrote this in response to my feelings about some comments majenta made at today's panel, i also wrote it about some experiences that i've had super recently (during the actual writing of the song) well, yeah, so read it fuckers.

i hate this goddamned scene
fucking indie beauty queens
emciated emo boys
too tight shirts
repulsive flirts
you know it's true
it's nothing new

i hate this goddamned town
everyone is afraid, to just get down
like dancings a sin
when there are people around
it's like looking at statues
people can't fucking move
it's so fucking rude

i hate this goddamned song
the same three chords moving along
no matter what they say, it'll come out wrong
verse chorus verse, the same every time
another hit song, another damn crime

i hate this goddamn life
i hate this pain, this ugly strife
i hate the fact that i can't find love
that i'm alone when push comes to shove
those stupid boys that can break my heart
there's nothing left, it's been torn apart.

i hate this goddamned scene
fucking indie beauty queens
emciated emo boys
too tight shirts
repulsive flirts
you know it's true
it's nothing new
those stupid boys that can break my heart
there's nothing left, it's been torn apart.

(3 want it | you know you want it)

5th September 2002

wexer3:24am: take your "sexy scenesters" and shoot them in the face
Here's my rant on lookism for the zine. It was taken from an older journal entry and edited a little bit:

It's a huge problem in every nook and cranny of society (even in our oh-so-enlightened subcultures and activist circles), yet no bands talk about it between songs, no conferences are organized to educate others on how to challenge it, and I hear almost no one talk about it, let alone combat it. A few examples of this phenomenon are as follows:

People hooking up w/ other people on the basis that they're "soooo hot" inspite of being a manipulative asshole, comments like "you're too cute to stay mad at" when someone has fucked up big time, and the time my parents didn't buy a car that ran like clockwork because they didn't like the way it looked.

It's lookism, and it's fucked.

I fucking hate how everyone is so hung up on appearance and often ignore other qualities or people who aren't totally gorgeous. I'm sick of the fact that I hear no one addressing this issue (particularly people I know who address other "isms" on a regular basis, some of whom are the most concerned about looks) when I see it as a significant problem in society and a reason why a lot of my past friends' relationships turn to shit, due to them being attracted to people based on asthetics and then finding out that the person is a piece of self absorbed trash, a pretty person with an ugly personality. It's like dating someone who has an obsessive relationship with their car. Sure it's attractive and may assist someone in finding a date, but I'd like to think that most people would like to date someone who will care more about THEM that something as superficial as how their fucking car looks (even if it's a horrible car that breaks down and gets awful mileage). I think the same goes with appearance, someone who is obsessed with looking good is not going to be as likely to have their priorities straight in a relationship or in life. Someone I know once mentioned "extremely intelligent" and "puts effort into how he looks" as qualities she looks for in a partner. Well, you're not going to find any decent balance of these two.

Personally, I put hardly any effort into how I look. Part of the reason is because I don't fucking have the time, energy or money to make myself look pretty, as these are all locked up in other, much more important efforts, but more importantly I refuse to participate a system where merits are based on something as superficial as how I fucking look. On the other hand, right now, I'm feeling like I'm never going to date anyone again unless I make myself pretty to get noticed. Not that I ever would, but this can't be ignored.

Not to say that there's anything wrong with noting appearance. There are certain kinds of people that I find physically attractive and I'll admit that I am flattered when people say I'm cute or whatever. However, I don't want this to undermine my other qualities, nor do I want to have any sort of advantage over someone who isn't considered as attractive but has more admirable qualities than myself. In terms of relationships, this is fucking ridiculous. Looks contribute NOTHING to a relationship. Hell, I don't even know if I like someone until after I talk to them for a while, and it's usually something else that sparks that initial conversation.

There ARE people who DON'T put effort into how they look, who are naturally attractive. However, in many cases these people learn early on how to take advantage of their appearance in terms of getting dates, getting out of trouble, and so forth. On the contrary, people who are considered "ugly" learn to feel ashamed of how they look early on, often coinciding with the beginning of their lifelong relationship with the parasitic beauty and fashion industries. These are people who could have amazing potential if there wasn't so much pressure to look a certain way and who could also contribute a great deal to a meaningful relationship if their appearance wasn't an issue. Instead, they are socially conditioned to feel insecure about their outward appearance, which is exploited by the aforementioned industries that benefit financially from this manufactured insecurity.

To those who think that you can't be physically attracted to someone who is ugly, just about every person I have ever dated has been called ugly and/or fat by someone who I considered a friend at the time (apologies to any exes that are reading this). Some of these people even I thought were ugly, but I was able to see beyond external beauty and see that these people were (in some cases) beautiful on the inside and had a lot to offer. If I can do this, anyone can.
Current Mood: depressed

(4 want it | you know you want it)

4th September 2002

pistolqueergan9:26pm: awwww yeah
dear pistol,
i'm 17, an alcoholic and i sleep with everyone. i have no respect for anyone or anything, and all i want to do is self-destruct. i keep losing friends and hurting the ones i have. i think i may have a STD and i won't tell any of my partners, can you please help me?

slutty in north seattle

dear slutty,
until you hit rockbottom and want to change your situation any advice i give you is going to be lost. though here is some. get friends that support change. try and give up one thing at a time, like drinking, then sex can follow. i truly hope you can turn your life around, and maybe someday become a productive member of our society.

dear pistol,
i try and keep up with all the latest trends; converse, bitchpants, bitchbangs, but i'm always a step behind. my friends say i should start my own trends, but i fear i'm not daring enough. is there anything i can do keep with the trends but not seem like a poser?

poser girl from west seattle

dear poser girl,
maybe you should start going to more shows, or spend time at the redlight. see what the scenesters are wearing, then modify it to what fits you best. i recommend buying the following items; a neck scarf, striped socks, blue eyeliner, a bright red sweater, and a rosary. those are my predictions for what is cool this fall.

dear pistol,
i am single and good looking but i cannot find a mate. i don't know what is wrong, my bestfriend says it's because i'm so cool that people get scared. is it possible that there are no good mates in seattle?

single on queen anne

dear single,
now it is possible that you overestimate yourself and are ugly as fuck. though i think that your hypothesis is correct. there are no suitable mates in seattle. the seattle scene kids are fucked up and shitty. your best bet is to move, or become celibate.




you can reach pistol at iheartdietsoda@hotmail.com he is a certified scenester, and he currently reigns over the seattle scene.
Current Mood: bitchpantsy

(you know you want it)

29th August 2002

onefalsemove9:44pm: for the zine:
ATTACK OF THE SEAWEED-EATERS!

By Jay Edge
DISCLAIMER:
This article does not necessarily represent the thoughts of Bitchpants Zine, but it should

Some things really annoy me. Some things make me want to break other people’s noses. But some things are just incorrect, and make me want to say “I’m write, you’re wrong end of story!!!!” Actually most things make me want to say that, but that’s a whole different article.
What I am really here to talk about is a growing trend, that is in my opinion morally wrong and really dumb. This trend, and the people involved do not label themselves with a name, but for the purposes of this article they will be the new age foodists. Yes, you’ve seen them before. No, they’re not hippies. These are you’re neighbors, you’re friends. They are hard to tell apart from other people, but they are NOT the same thing. You can spot these people in such places as:
- organic food stores
- organic or vegetarian restaurants
- anywhere with the word “macrobiotic” in it.
I first discovered this strange subculture through a book I read called “Whole Foods For the Whole Family.” I came across it by accident as I was babysitting one day, it was on the bookshelf behind me and I started to thumb through it out of boredom. What I saw inside made me want to take a huge board and smash someone’s head in, until it was covered in their blood and they didn’t have a face and they COULDN’T EVEN BE IDENTIFIED BY THEIR DENTAL BECAUSE THEIR BONES WERE EACH IN A HUNDERED TINY PIECES COVERED IN RED, RED BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So of course I kept reading. This book expressed that sugar was probably the worst thing on earth you could possibly eat. This woman would have gladly sucked down radioactive waste before she would eat sugar. She said in the book that she kept no sugar in her home, and that her daughter, after coming home from “sugar-fest cake filled birthday parties” often requested a sheet of nori, a kind of seaweed, or as she called it a “sea-vegetable”. Most new age foodists eat lots of seaweed for it’s mineral content, and disgustingness. The more disgusting a food is, the more likely a new age foodist is to eat it. She said that children especially are sensitive to sugar, and that it is no wonder after sugar filled holidays they will come down with colds and sore throats. Sugar, according to our new age foodist author also causes mood swings, crime, and is even personality altering.
But it doesn’t end there. Another type of new age foodist is the “raw foodist.” This person eats only raw foods, nothing cooked. When I heard about this diet, I knew it was very new agey, but my mom and I decided to give it a try. After hearing about it’s effects, weight loss, more energy, general well-being, how could I say no? After a day of eating nothing but raw nuts and lettuce I had a head ache, was light headed, sick to my stomach, less energetic than ever, felt somewhat depressed, and had other bodily dysfunctions that I won’t get into because this is a family paper. Needless to say, that diet sucked.
I gave it one last chance however, and tried a few recipes from these cookbooks. Mrs. Anti-Sugar was by far the worst. I’d rather drink toxic waste then seaweed shakes any day.

Like what you read? Don’t like what you read? TOO BAD! Email me at xjayedgex@hotmail.com with your opinions except that they’re probably wrong.
Current Mood: opinionated

(2 want it | you know you want it)

pistolqueergan4:02pm: awww yeah *knocks knees*
now i know that you are all DYING to know how my night went with the miss selling(out) and sorry to disappoint you all, but it wasn't as drama filled as i thought it would be. true, she did say she had seen me around, and all that non sense, but no "didn't you call me a cunt at the one line drawing show?" phew, i wasn't in the mood for confrontation. basically we talked about bitchpants and emo. mostly bitchpants, she's fucking in love with the zine now i guess, since she kept talking about bitchpants to everyone. oh yeah, uh huh uh huh uh huh. well, goddamn, after the show (which we all know was not promising greatness) i went hom, and fucking fought with neal and brenda, oh well, it's their fucking fault it they don't like how i fucking dress. whatev. well, i had pancakes, and then i went to bed.
Current Mood: bitchpants dancy

(1 want it | you know you want it)

27th August 2002

deerhoof10:52pm: hoyeah!
well, it has been an exciting last week or two for bitchpants! we learned to ride bicycles! we've been riding up and down megs street, it is great. bitchpants is on the move, baby. look out!
Current Mood: pscyhed

(1 want it | you know you want it)

wexer12:59am: DISCLAIMER: the use of "player" and "hoes" serves as a reminder that the player/slut double standard is still very prevalent in our various subcultures. Almost nothing is said of the boy who goes to shows or searches makeoutclub to find dates (or girls to date rape, in some cases), yet I still here comments about girls who are "scene sluts" or "just in it for the boys."

Oh yea the song is called "prettyboy"

(you know you want it)

wexer12:58am: This is my own band's lyrics, but I don't care
PLAYING DRESS UP BECAUSE “INSIDE IT HURTS”
USING YOUR IMAGE TO HELP YOU CHASE SKIRTS
MAKING OUT WITH GIRLS NONSTOP AT THE SHOW
YOU'RE THE BIG PLAYER AND THEY'RE JUST YOUR HOES

PRETTYBOY YOU MAKE ME SICK
PRETTYBOY DON'T THINK WITH YOUR DICK
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO
WHEN MAKE OUT CLUB IS NO LONGER COOL?

I GUESS YOU’LL HAVE TO COME INSIDE
WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU AIN’T SHIT
TOO BAD YOUR ANOREXIC ASS
WON’T LAST FIVE SECONDS IN A CIRCLE PIT

NOT HERE FOR THE MUSIC? GET THE FUCK OUT!!!
LOOKING FOR ACTION IS NOT WHAT WE'RE ABOUT
A WHOLE LOT OF EFFORT WENT INTO THIS SHOW
AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHO YOU'LL TAKE HOME?
Current Mood: irate

(2 want it | you know you want it)

26th August 2002

pistolqueergan11:08pm: so, for those who aren't in the know, i'll be carpooling with the selling(out)queen of the stranger scene. and since i'll be carpooling with her, and i think not saying anything would be rude, should i bring up bitchpants?

.pistol.

goddamned emo kid

(1 want it | you know you want it)

pistolqueergan1:14am:

</a>


What fashionable underground band/style are you?

this quiz was made by the sunni bunni bear


fucking gossip, y'all

beth rocks her bitchpants onstage and off

(you know you want it)

pistolqueergan12:51am: i'm not lying, i'm just pretending
ooooh, B.A.T.H. we're good, too good. hehe, hey scenester, your hair is fucked up in all the right places.

so, yesterday's events first, please:
i woke up, took a shower, put on my make up and left the haus. ok, so i went carpooling to 4th with my parent's friends. fucking eh, it was a bad idea. so, first, i had to sit bitch, which i fucking hate, then my mom's friend says "are you wearing eye shadow?" i said, yes, she said "do skinheads ever try and beat you up?" whatev. i think that if skinheads beat me up, i wouldn't be wearing eyeshadow, and leaving the house. goddamn! well i met meg bitchpants, who i adore, and we talked while sarah lily found her way downtown, "meg, i'm lost, ahhhh" haha, too good. so, we shot the shit, looked over the abadox "truck" (otherwise known as a KIA SUV, offroading anyone? ha!) so then sarah lily finally shows. i decide, fuck it i'm starving, so we're off to meg's to get some drinks and food like substances. well as you know, i like to make fun of ugly people, because that's why god put them on earth. so, i start making fun of this hideous looking woman, i mean fucking ugly as sin, and even though i was quiet, evidently she overheard! so, she calls her "man" over and yeah, he wants to know if i was taking about his "girl" i say "no! i was talking about kathleen hanna!!!" so he says "who the fuck is kathleen hanna?" and sarah lily pulls an "AHHHH BANG BANG" expression, and he leaves. meg and sarah were both scared out of their minds, hehe, i didn't really think too much of it. well, along with the dolphin queen, and little wendy orphan, i left. on our way out, this gang banger, along with his "girl" say "bye white trash" oh my god! i'm not even fucking white, goddamn. so whatev. i left. on the way, we walked by "earth and ocean" a resturant that makes me think of enya and pilates three times a week. well, this place is uber fancy, and has outdoor seating, YAH YAH, so i took this fine opportunity to scream "i like to have sex with animals AHHHHH! where's my mescaline?!?!?!" so, the fancy people outside held their crying shildren's ears, and i delighted in ruining the rich people's meal.. well, the show was lame, as liza minelli walked in clove smoking with her lesbian lover in combat boots (that is for you bitchpants crew!) . ooh, and we also saw a wonderful sight, and old man, with a motorized scooter! ooh, and he had his sweet, sweet helmet, he was rocking the safety gear! and we saw an early nineties lisa loeb lesbian hipster. she wore a shress, dark flower print, and black stretch pants. she was also rocking the susan powter do from the informercial, along with her docs. niiiice. well, we hated the bands and their rockin' hair! so we relaxed with the pillows baby. it was good times, on the all. sarah lily was tragically raped by a hipster at the Y, and she was so traumatized, she left her wallet. i on the other hand, was untouched. we talked outside, since saying "ass" isn't proper inside, and it was good times. so many jokes made, so mant calories burned. oh, and by the way, why can't i get a fucking latte after 3 in the fucking afternoon on a fucking sat. night? FUCK THAT!


* in between, i got another piercing. it's small, not noticable to the untrained eye. *

today's debauchery:

today was the day of B.A.T.H. i picked up keenan, and we left for minnie's for some good breakfast food. yum! while there, we saw some cha boys from the night before, i guess they were playing hey punk! or some shit, too bad they didn't bother changing their clothes. we ate, and i told keenan all about the day before. i ahd three diet pepsi's and i had to pee. oh, and amanda arrived by that time, but i was too bust peeing to pay attention, we also noticed a great thing, CONDOM MACHINES! goddamn, well i had to fish out .50 for a souvenier, even though we wanted photo booth later. i got a gold ribbed condom, ROCK! well, we decided that we had to go to archie's and then we had to get me some porn, don't ask. so we walked, we ended up at the sit and spin, and i talked with my fave pin up girl, laura. we started a game of scrabble, and quird if i wasn't beaten by amanda and keenan both! goddamn, and i used triplets too. LAME! well after that, we said "bus time" and we left, we nixed the archies, but kept up the porn search. keenan goes to this place "blue video" all the time, so she said she could get me a discount. evidently, keenan is a porn freak! well, we caught a bus, and we just couldn't stop talking aboutthe porn, and i'll be damned, if we weren't given a talking to by a boy who just "didn't want to hear such talk" and all that jazz, so that shut us up. hehe, when we got off the bus, we said "goddamn, that was funny" since, i was talking about big dick porn a the time of the silencing. well, we walked to keenan's home away from home, and me and amanda chickened out, keenan wanted to get more porn, but we wanted to go. so we decided, slurpees are good fuel. so we trekked to the nearest 7-11 and got us some slurpees, and some nachos (which were the most awful ass tasting thing ever!) goddamn! but the slurpees were good times, so it was absolved. we had the amanda mom pick us up, and we went back to her place, you know, to get it on. at her house, we set it all up, and we had band practice, goddamn, we sounded good. it was an imperial teen like thing, all good and sexy. well, we wrote a song about pedophilia and incest, using some certain scenesters as examples, it was classy, bellingham is mentioned a little too often though, i'll have to change that. well, we had some shop like talk, and some ice cream, then went back to the ROCK. we played sung some paxil rose songs, along with a whole fuck load of hole! and miss keenan knew every word, her secret revealed! oh, i almost forgot, we also went to a costume shoppe, and we played the fool, it was very much a B.A.T.H. memory for the ages, classic B.A.T.H. back to the rock, keenan's mom, the ever lady like one called her "keenan, i'm on piedmont, but no one has fucking house numbers!" haha. good times, also, ladies do not say tits. they're breasts. well, keenan left, and me and miss amanda had to fend for ourselves. it was good times. we're going to carrie akre on thurs. and i'll be at SMAT on wed. megan fucking selling out.

this was a fucking kick ass weekend. you know it uh huh uh huh uh huh.

btw, i'm going to start talking to walter, he seems too fucked up for his own good, i mean the new no doubt rekkid? derelict!

me: i love you, goodnight
erich: i love you too, nitenite

awwwwwww, boys loving boys.


you are a dirty hooooker, 3 dollars canadian, that's all.

"i have aids."<- me to the $arah lily -> "i'm gonna use it on the 3."
Current Mood: scene

(you know you want it)

24th August 2002

pistolqueergan3:16am: ok
i am officially going to do it.

I GIVE A CERTAIN hXc SCENESTER.....


THE ACCESS DENIED!

that's all babies
Current Mood: bitchpantsy

(you know you want it)

19th August 2002

wexer6:30pm: Boycott Adidas' use of kangaroo leather!
Most kangaroos are shot in the outback at night. According to the Australian government 7 million kangaroos can be killed this year but that number does not include the joeys (baby kangaroos) who are also killed when their mothers are shot. The real number will be closer to 11 million. Because the large and male kangaroo are targeted for their skins, certain species of kangaroo could become endangered.

Adidas has been heavily promoting their kangaroo leather soccer cleat the 'Predator' around the world. Let’s show Adidas that their days of preying on kangaroos are over!

Join activists around the world on Saturday, August 31 for the launch of the International Boycott of Adidas by organizing an event in your own town.

Current list of events taking place (including one in Portland) see: http://www.vivausa.org/Campaigns/Kangaroo/adidasdayofaction-list.htm

Also: Call Adidas at 800/448-1796 or send an e-mail to: Consumer.Relations@adidasus.com and tell them you are going to boycott Adidas until they stop using kangaroo leather.

(3 want it | you know you want it)

12th July 2002

1:57pm: Baby, I dig you
I like scenes, I just don't like scenesters.

Why can't we all just say, "I like going to shows and meeting fun people and dancing" It is sad how many people lose sight of the true beauty of music because of stupid fucking scene politics. Ok, so maybe this person has spock rock hair and wears tight black hip bitchpants and a Hives button, and this person has hacked-away crusty hair and wears cutoff carhart bitchpants and a Food Not Bombs patch, but they are both entitled to enjoy life and music. It should be common to see these two different people at the same show! Rockin' music is rockin no matter who plays it! Every person is still a person, no matter how they knock their knees! I may not really relate to someone, or I may even find their style of existence silly, but I ought to still see them as living breathing rocking beings. No one is above anybody else. (unless of course you are in with Bitchpants, which is a different matter entirely!)

Let's all just keep on dancing! Bitchpants of the world unite!
Current Mood: bitchy

(4 want it | you know you want it)

9th July 2002

11:12pm: have you ever seen one of those hipsters with the spock-rock hair and wanted to say, "did anyone ever tell you, you look like rod stewart?" no really.


Issue #1 is coming yr way..you better look goddamned jazzed.
Current Mood: bitchy

(8 want it | you know you want it)

30th June 2002

11:57pm: yeah yeah yeah
You better watch out

(1 want it | you know you want it)

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